It's been five months or so since my last update, and part of that is because nothing new has happened on the health side, and the other part of that is because I'm feeling good and keeping busy! But it's time to post again and share how things are going.
The first noteworthy thing to mention is that my parents came to town to celebrate my 40th birthday with us. Thinking about the age of 40 seemed so old in my younger years, but I don't find the age anything but exciting these days. I have learned that being suddenly confronted with your own mortality in your late 30s makes age 40 seem like a damn trophy. I continue to celebrate every little gray hair (I earned them!) and I don't feel my age at all (though I neer did). While my parents were visiting, we went to Portsmouth and had a incredible dinner at Massimo in Portsmouth and went to the Lindt factory store where we proceeded to buy way too many chocolates. All-in-all, a marvelous celebration with loved ones.
As the fall went on, I was aware that the end of my treatment cycle was nearing. My oncologist had communicated a while ago that I was in for 24 rounds of Opdivo, which put my final treatment on November 29. My oncologist also went on maternity leave a few months ago (btw this is her second maternity leave since I started going there, that's how long this whole thing has been!) so I've been seeing assorted nurse practitioners and a different oncologist lately.
Originally I had been scheduled for an MRI and PET scan in late October, right around my birthday, to verify that all lesions were gone and that I'm still NED to really justify the treatment ending. The MRI happened and results were normal (although I prefer to say it as "they scanned my brain and found nothing"), and I wasn't surprised but it was still a relief.
Unfortunately, through some nonsense, my insurance company had accidentally approved the PET scan for over the summer, when it was not scheduled until October. Since the actual scan was scheduled outside of the date ranges of approval, the insurance company went ahead and denied my PET scan.
Hilariously, the request was denied because my doctor "hadn't provided sufficient proof that this procedure was really needed." Weird, considering they apparently thought the proof was sufficient three months prior! Ahhh, health insurance in America is a scam.
Anyway, the Cancer Center did a great job of appealing the rejection and I was re-approved for the PET scan (including a letter that was very faux-apologetic, I assume to lure me into thinking they aren't a bunch of monsters). It is now scheduled for December 13, which is well after my (I hope) final treatment. I will follow up with the temporary oncologist the day after Christmas to go over the PET results. But I should say up front, I have no reason to believe the results will be anything other than "she's great, she's got nothing weird in there".
But you may notice that the November 29th day was yesterday, which would imply my final treatment happened. And you'd be right! I shared videos on social media yesterday, but I will add some here as well.
I wasn't originally planning to ring the bell after my final treatment. I don't really like bringing a bunch of attention to myself, and we're not even 100% sure this is the final treatment. But I was thinking about how I did not do this by myself. Sure, it was Isaac and me for the bulk of this long journey. But at no point did I ever feel alone. I know that I have a tremendous network and community behind me. So I rang the bell so that everyone who thought about me, reached out to me, prayed for me, or worried for me could be there with me when I rang it.
Sending love to you all this holiday season! I leave you with this affirmation I used in my title that Kelly reminded me of:
I am beautiful and terrible as the dawn. I am treacherous as the sea. I am stronger than the foundations of the earth. All will love me and despair.
(Galadriel in LOTR)