the ✨upswing✨

There are a few silver linings to having cancer. One is that you can actually reconnect with a lot of wonderful old friends! Another is that you absolutely can and will take that extra moment to listen to crickets at night, look at the stars, and walk around on the wet grass just because. So life's not all bad over here.

The bad reactions to my treatment definitely tamed on Sunday and Monday, and by early this week I was back to my (almost) normal self. There are a couple of longstanding differences, which I will save for posterity:

1. I have developed a distaste for coffee in the past few days. I am hoping this goes away because I love coffee and tea is not quite the same. I better have a taste for coffee again before peppermint mocha season, hmph.

2. My legs get tired VERY easily. I've been going for walks and my muscles ache. Running is kind of out of the question right now, so I'm sticking to walks. I feel kind of like a weenie but then I remind myself that fighting cancer is also work, so I should be kind to myself.

3. I have trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep. At first I thought it was anxiety but I looked it up and it is a semi-frequent side effect of the treatment. Luckily I've been compensating by waking up approximately three minutes before I need to log into my work computer.

4. My normal pink-undertone skin has turned full on red, I've got a big ol' itchy and ugly rash that covers my chest, neck, and upper arms (another semi-common side effect). I talked to the doctor who recommended hydrocortisone cream, and that's helped immensely. I'm still a little red, but I don't think I'm monstrous enough that I'd scare children or anything.

My next treatment is next Wednesday and as long as I'm feeling fine the next day, I will have an appointment with my dermatologist on Thursday to do a full skin check (which I never had done in the first place). I am looking forward to treatment again although I expect it will make me feel terrible in many ways, because it is arming my badass immune system to keep battling in there.

It's been really nice to feel somewhat normal and not have any doctor's appointments at all for a while. A real luxury! Honestly though, every single day is different. It seems I spend a few days feeling great, then a few days feeling icky, then a few days feeling fine again. It's pretty hard to plan for the future this way. But I am trying to remember every day is a win as long as I eat food, fight cancer, and breathe.

Also hey, here's a reminder to you all: you should get your skin checked every once in a while!