who needs sleep?

I guess I didn't realize how much I needed help last week because this week it's like night and day how different I am. I feel good enough to do stuff again! I am sure my bulked-up immune system attacking my guts was a big reason why I was feeling so terrible.

Realistically I am aware this good feeling this week is completely temporary. The energy burst will fade when I stop the prednisone and get my second treatment on Monday-- provided, of course, this third time's the charm. The nausea will likely come back, the lack of appetite will return, so it goes. But this week has been a bit of a reprieve and for that I am thankful.

The only bad part about being on prednisone so far is that I can't sleep. I get to sleep okay but I've been getting up at 3:30/4 am for the past couple of days. Once my body decides that 3:42 am is my wake-up time, I lie in bed and make to-do lists (1. wish my friend Sarah a happy birthday, 2. send a thank you note to my friend Josh, 3. wash the guest sheets, 4...). I sing the song in my head that I sang as a child when I was afraid of the dark (there's a fun story here about how Carin let me watch Poltergeist when I was 9 and it haunted me for literal years). Or I just lie and listen to the breathing and snores of my husband or cat. And around 5:45 or 6 am when I can't stand it anymore, I go downstairs to watch the sunrise eventually roll in.

Feeling good this week is going to be great for many reasons. The first is that my parents are coming to visit! The excuse is to bring me a piece of furniture from my grandmother, but I'm pretty sure they would've used any excuse to come see me. And I'm glad. I've been craving parent hugs since my diagnosis and I'm very pleased they are nearly on the way.

This also means that I will feel okay on my birthday/Isaac and my anniversary day! It means that I will be hungry for dessert after whatever we have for dinner, and it means I will feel well for the church choir Welcome Back concert I am singing in on Sunday. Words cannot express how happy I am that I have a little confidence in how I'll feel this coming weekend.

And because I'm feeling so okay right now, I also signed up to sing at a virtual open mic night that my company hosts at work. They've done this many times and I used to sing in the office when they were held in person pre-pandemic. Virtual over zoom can mean the sound is a little less reliable, so I actually recorded ahead of time to share if the virtual recording gets wonky. I figured I could send it to coworkers who want a non-zoom version. And I'll share the recording here for you all to listen to if you want.

The short story behind the aria, from Dvořák's Rusalka, is that the character is a water nymph who has fallen in love with a man she saw bathing in the lake. This is her prayer to the moon to let the man dream of her and for the moon to keep her company while she waits for her future to unfold. This song has such a deep sense of longing, I've just had to sing it.

My only request is don't check my Czech, I know it needs work!